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Addison Recorder Pick ‘Em Week Nine – Bean’s Fantasy Football League Weighs In

October 23, 2014 by Alex Bean Leave a Comment

Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.

This week he is joined by Ryan Halfhill and David Castellano, who are in a fantasy football league with Bean. (Editor’s Note: <runs for the hills> – Travis) (Editor’s Note: <run for your life!> -Bruce Dickinson)

Michigan Wolverines, Michigan State Spartans

No one thinks that Paul Bunyan will be leaving East Lansing.

Michigan at #11 Michigan State

Bean: I don’t wanna talk about it. Spartans by JUST FUCKING FIRE HOKE AND BRANDON ALREADY!

Castellano: Like the rest of college football, I am still looking for a sport to enjoy on Saturday, but If I need to pick a winner in a blowout…. Condoms (Spartans)… by a load!

Halfhill: Normally, I’d say there needs to be someone to play devil’s advocate, but there is no way that I see the Rabid Woodchucks pulling off an upset in this one. Spartans by 16. That accounts for a SAFETY. [Read more…]

Addison Recorder Football Pick ‘Em: Week Seven – Dreamy Quarterback Edition

October 9, 2014 by Alex Bean Leave a Comment

Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.

Before we begin, let me say that after last weekend, rationality no longer applies to college football this seasons. When 11 of the top 25 teams in the country, including those ranked #’s 2, 3, 4, 6, and 8 all lose together then chaos truly reigns. No one knows anything. Least of all me, your wildly inaccurate host. So, with Travis joining me again for the pick ‘em this week, we decided to use a criteria that Katy Perry would appreciate: how dreamy the quarterback for each team is.

Auburn’s Nick Marshall (Image via)

#2 Auburn at #3 Mississippi State

Bean:

The marquee match-up this week, then, is a showdown between Auburn’s Nick Marshall and Mississippi State’s Dak Prescott. Makes this a pretty easy call, personally. Nick Marhsall’s not a bad looking fella, but he’s no Dak. Look at that square jaw! Those smiling eyes! He even pulls off the chin stubble. Bulldogs by 10.

Mississippi State’s Dak Prescott

Travis:

Huh. This is our gimmick this week? Welp, okay.

Are you kidding? He’s got a neck that most closely resembles a redwood. Are redwoods attractive? I THINK NOT. Auburn by 10.

[Read more…]

Addison Recorder Football Pick ‘Em: Week Five

September 25, 2014 by Alex Bean Leave a Comment

Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.

Sad Urban Meyer eats the lukewarm pizza of woe. (Image via)

Cincinnati at #22 Ohio State

Bean:

An all-Ohio showdown! It’s reached the point where I prefer talking about this to discussing Michigan’s chances of retaining the Little Brown Jug.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Buckeyes have already suffered an upset at home at the hands of a Virginia Tech team that subsequently lost their next two games. OSU whipped some cupcake the next week, but this is team is not the Death Star its immediate predecessors were. Cincinnati has unleashed new QB Gunner Kiel in their first two games to the tune of 689 yards and 10 TDs. <thinks about Michigan’s passing stats across four games and then dies> Anyway, The Bearcats will blitz like crazy and try to hit a lot of big pass plays. Ohio State will runrunrun and try not to get behind the chains or implode in the secondary. This week, I think they fail to do so. Why? To quote the Bible “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,’ says the Lord.” Bearcats by 10

Meryl:

As a former Columbus resident who used to live a little too close to campus, I am not normally inclined to side with Buckeyes fans, as they are the worst. That said, my family still lives close to campus and I don’t want their cars to be set on fire, which would surely happen if the Buckeyes lost to Cincinnati. Here’s hoping for a win for Ohio State by 7. [Read more…]