The National Championship Game will be played between the Oregon Ducks and Ohio State Buckeyes this evening at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas. My thoughts are this:
I’d say that sums everything up. Ducks by 16.
Images via pinimg.com, zimbio.com, oregonlive.com, azcentral.com, and cpcache.com
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more…because we come here to finish a college football season that I have fucking hated. But it’s time for the best teams in the country to face off to ring in 2015, so here we are again. I’m happy to join all of you again, but my brain is mainly occupied with the news that IT’S HAPPENING.
YASSSSS!
Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.
Actually, I’m gonna fly solo this week. I’ve loved having all my guests contribute, but I’ll close college football’s season being the lone voice shouting into the void.
My folks paid thousands of dollars to subsidize this in my time at BGSU.
The rematch in the MAC Championship is a good place to start. Two years ago, North Illinois managed to run all the way to the Orange Bowl after winning this game. Last year, Bowling Green walked in and knocked off the defending champs and their Heisman-finalist QB Jordan Lynch to win their first conference title in 20 years. So despite the requisite coaching turnovers at both schools, it seems appropriate that both are back. That being said, this probably won’t be much of a game. The Huskies are 10-2 and have a punishing rushing attack. BG is 7-5 and has seen its defense regress from a year ago. So I say sorry to my Alma Mater. NIU by 17. [Read more…]
Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.
It’s rivalry week, so we’re bringing back the guy who has a standing slap bet with Bean about the outcome of The Game between Michigan and Ohio State. Bean deeply regrets this bet placed five years ago, by the way. (Travis holds no such regrets.)
Bean knows just how you feel, Marcus Hall.
Bean: What’s left to say? This game in Columbus is the end of the Brady Hoke era at Michigan. It has been four years of ridiculous and stupid football. I will not miss it. May next year bring a coach who can…actually coach. This game? On Saturday? Oh, fuck. It will be a slaughter. Last year’s edition looked that way, too, and became an instant-classic decided on a failed two-point conversion with seconds left. That ain’t happening in Columbus. Buckeyes by 
.
Travis: Oh, the joys that come with slapping another man full in the face. The thrill of the moment. The tension of the wind-up. The sudden uncertainty that besets you as your wayward limb begins its acceleration and ascent – what if I miss? The rush of blood that comes as your hand reaches full extension, fingers splayed, the realization that yes, this slap will happen, and it will be good. The blow. The aftermath, falling away in triumph as your opponent collapses into a whimpering pile. The august joy of victory. Oh, this is a glorious thing. Buckeyes by a Bear Flipping a Table. ʕ•ᴥ•ʔノ ︵ ┻━┻ [Read more…]
Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.
This week we’re joined by Bean’s once and future cabinet-mate at Groupon, John Gramila. He said he might use augury for his predictions, so watch out. [Read more…]
Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.
This week he is joined by Ryan Halfhill and David Castellano, who are in a fantasy football league with Bean. (Editor’s Note: <runs for the hills> – Travis) (Editor’s Note: <run for your life!> -Bruce Dickinson)
No one thinks that Paul Bunyan will be leaving East Lansing.
Bean: I don’t wanna talk about it. Spartans by JUST FUCKING FIRE HOKE AND BRANDON ALREADY!
Castellano: Like the rest of college football, I am still looking for a sport to enjoy on Saturday, but If I need to pick a winner in a blowout…. Condoms (Spartans)… by a load!
Halfhill: Normally, I’d say there needs to be someone to play devil’s advocate, but there is no way that I see the Rabid Woodchucks pulling off an upset in this one. Spartans by 16. That accounts for a SAFETY. [Read more…]
Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.
Sad Urban Meyer eats the lukewarm pizza of woe. (Image via)
An all-Ohio showdown! It’s reached the point where I prefer talking about this to discussing Michigan’s chances of retaining the Little Brown Jug.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The Buckeyes have already suffered an upset at home at the hands of a Virginia Tech team that subsequently lost their next two games. OSU whipped some cupcake the next week, but this is team is not the Death Star its immediate predecessors were. Cincinnati has unleashed new QB Gunner Kiel in their first two games to the tune of 689 yards and 10 TDs. <thinks about Michigan’s passing stats across four games and then dies> Anyway, The Bearcats will blitz like crazy and try to hit a lot of big pass plays. Ohio State will runrunrun and try not to get behind the chains or implode in the secondary. This week, I think they fail to do so. Why? To quote the Bible “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,’ says the Lord.” Bearcats by 10
As a former Columbus resident who used to live a little too close to campus, I am not normally inclined to side with Buckeyes fans, as they are the worst. That said, my family still lives close to campus and I don’t want their cars to be set on fire, which would surely happen if the Buckeyes lost to Cincinnati. Here’s hoping for a win for Ohio State by 7. [Read more…]
It will be tough for 2014 to top this moment. (Image via)
One last column before actual football kicks off. This week I’m going to try and prognosticate how the season will go for the three parts of football I care about in descending order: the Michigan Wolverines, the Big Ten, and the national college football landscape. [Read more…]
