Welcome to the 2014 Word Cup coverage!
Assuming you are reading this in the United States, and assuming that your soccer consumption habits are average for a U.S. citizen, you’re in desperate need of an expert or two to tell you how the World Cup is going to shake out. Maybe they’ll explain to you the different variations on the 4-4-2 formation, and what they’re good for.
Here’s where the Addison Recorder‘s coverage will differ from all others: we have no experts. Some of us are part-time soccer enthusiasts, and at least one of us could probably pick out Mesut Özil from a lineup. This makes us the perfect commentators for the U.S. audience — just like you, we’ve watched plenty of international and club soccer when our favorite (non-soccer) sports aren’t on. We know enough to take Alexi Lalas with a grain of salt, and to defer to the opinion of whomever doesn’t have an American English accent.
Yahoo! Sports hay have José Mourinho, but we have people who have an idea of who José Mourinho is. That’s the kind of expertise that you can kind of trust.
Right, then. I guess it’s time to start our actual coverage of the World Cup. Before I grab Alex Bean to join me in previewing all the different World Cup groups, allow me to set the scene for this year’s Cup. It’s not a pretty sight, so here’s a silly music video from a mustachioed man strumming a banjolele.
That was delightful. Now we get to wade into the shit of the World Cup. So, take a deep breath, because we’re going to start with the rotting, bloated corpulent Sulla sitting atop the corrupt Soccer Empire that oversees all this Roman-esque spectacle: FIFA.