The Live Oscars Blog

It’s a quiet night at one of the Addison Recorder headquarters, Alex and Becky’s home, but a tempest so mighty not even Russell Crowe and some CGI ark-building-action could withstand it is potentially brewing. And oh the eruption if American Hustle wins awards. There will be paroxysms of annoyance, laughter, and clever insults during the musical performances and the more groan-worthy moments, but how much hellish inferno and celebration there shall be is still to be determined. And my job, as one of the resident cinematic experts, is to both put all of this into perspective and document the reactions here.

We’ve seen seven Best Picture nominees and two other probable big winners, Frozen and The Great Beauty, and we’ve written a great deal already. We thank you for paying attention to all our opinions, and your indulgence as we express our final opinions as it’s too late to do any darn thing about it. Not that anyone was paying attention to us, although who knows…maybe somehow along the way, these links turned up on the Facebook page or inbox or Google search of the Academy voters and they thought, “Hey, Alex and Andrew and Karen and Travis really know what they’re talking about, I didn’t think about this movie that way, I should vote for it/him/her!”

Though probably not. YET. We can still dream.

As of right now, we have Alex, Becky, Travis, and Laura (whom you may remember from my men’s figure skating coverage), and here we go…

Just flipped on ABC’s coverage, and landed on a Nebraska segment. June Squibb is hilarious with a story about being a stripper in Gypsy on Broadway, while Bruce Dern, accompanied by his wife and the gracefully aging Laura, is hilariously cantankerous. “I don’t know how to party!” And appropriately, they cut to Harrison Ford, the crankiest man in Hollywood, and Calista Flockhart.

Alex: “Man, I hate the last hour when I’m just waiting for things to…”

Travis: “Happen?”

Alex: “Yeah.”

When Anna Kendrick comes on for her interview, Alex does a fine recap of her Newcastle Super Bowl commercial while Travis describes her dress as having “tasteful sideboob.” (I just think Kendrick looks great in everything.)

Amy Adams looks marvelous in blue and Tiffany earrings. Her dress does not have tasteful sideboob. And Becky is delightfully quizzing Alex (who does not know fashion history) about the different hairstyles and their time periods. (She is rocking a late 1950s Vertigo style.)

Alex: “That is some 80s hair on Sally Hawkins! Did I get that right? 70s? I can do twenty-year ranges.”

Olivia Wilde, who is excellent in my book, is wearing a Valentino address custom fit for her baby bump. My co-workers and I have mused that her and Jason Sudeikis are sort of the real life Roger and Jessica Rabbit.

Kerry Washington is also wearing a gorgeous, maternity-adjusted dress. (Becky: “Do you watch Scandal?” Travis: “I don’t know who these people are. ACTORS.” One of these days, Travis will just become Addison DeWitt.)

For the “Fashion in Film” montage: Travis says “Why are they doing this? Just turn it on already! What a waste of time!” Alex correctly identifies this as being a commercial for Hermes. Annoying indeed.

Matthew McConaughey has brought his wife and his mother. He has filled out more from his movies, looks charmingly goofy in the white tuxedo, and looking at his mom makes you clearly see where his facial feature comes from. As Becky also says, he makes no sense.

We’re discussing who we would bring as our Oscar dates. Zoey and stag are mentioned. I would bring my mother, Nancy Rostan, or my editor, Rebecca Taylor, the two women who have shaped my soul and my writing talents (because that’s would I would be nominated for) in different ways. Thank you for letting me share this information.

Travis: “These are not fashion statements. These are questions.” Jennifer Lawrence is in a beautiful red Christian Dior, incidentally, with no billows.

The host of the Red Carpet makes the “You never forget your first time…your first Oscar nomination” joke. Alex: “I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT SEX.” Christopher Walken talks about how his first Oscar led to the house he lives in now. Good to see him again.

Cate Blanchett is wearing the most gorgeous dress, sheer and covered in jewels. There’s a reason Scorsese cast her as Katharine Hepburn: she exudes Old Hollywood. Need to get a picture up before the night is over. Alex would have voted for Jonah Hill for Best Supporting Actor, and I agree…a hilarious and deeply disturbing turn.

Also, I’m sitting here drinking Apothic Red with some of my very best friends, watching my favorite live television event of the year. Life doesn’t get much better.

There’s an ad for Resurrection and Travis immediately decides people are being brought back to life by “demons. Demons are awesome.”

We’re getting kind of sick of the carpet, even though DiCaprio and Eijofor are being very classy, and we’re now hearing about how Alex and Becky have planned a Winnie-the-Pooh wedding for Travis, who thinks Robin Roberts looks like a cadaver. “Her eye make-up is not doing her any favors.”

My first job interview in Hollywood was with Meron and Zadan’s company. Alex: “They make crappy Oscars.”

Travis is reveling in the memory of our terrific Oscars preview which you all should read to experience our various styles. Though I disagree when he says “It will never happen again. It was an imperfection in the environment.” Becky is delighted by the pictures of LeBron in his face mask. “I love it when bad things happen to him!”

And here’s Robert Rostan’s favorite, Cate Blanchett, in her incredible dress

 

Mixology, Becky confirms, is the most misogynistic show of them all. I will not touch it with a thousand-foot pole. I tell my Dad that Cate looks fantastic. She says “He’ll look even better when she’s holding the little gold man.”

Davis (another cinema expert), D.J., and Leigh (husband and wife actors) have arrived. Davis just saw 12 Years a Slave last night. “There’s still a lot I haven’t seen.” Alex: “Doesn’t mean you can’t pass judgment.”

Lupita Nyong’o looks beautiful, and Barkhad Abdi, Travis thinks, should be asking if somebody can get him a job in his interview. We’re grading the BP nominees, and Alex gives As to 12 Years, her, Gravity, and The Wolf of Wall Street. We also think this should be Emanuel Lubezki’s fourth Oscar instead of his first (if he wins as he SHOULD), following The New World, Children of Men, and The Tree of Life.

Jimmy Kimmel is doing a very unfunny sketch. Alex: “This is why I watched the first ever episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live and never again.”

Will Smith, whose After Earth conquered the Razzies last night (and as Alex points out, “Fear is a Choice” is a very Scientological precept), shows up with the very crazy-looking Jada Pinkett Smith. I am now delighting the Beans by describing the How Did This Get Made? description of Will Smith in Winter’s Tale. (GREAT podcast.) Jeremy Renner, always welcome, shows up. Travis: “He was the only thing I liked about American Hustle besides cleavage.” Sandra Bullock, who is magnificently classy, is here, and I’m going to pretend she is being re-presented her Best Actress Oscar, as this year she gave one of the ultimate performances by any actress that I could ever imagine seeing.

There apparently was an article previewing Ellen DeGeneres’s hosting which slammed every other awards show host for the past year. Including Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. BOO. We’re trying to determine the best Oscar host possible, and we think it would be Stephen Colbert…a perfect showman. MAKE THIS HAPPEN, ACADEMY.

 

The Awards are about to begin! Get ready…

Davis: “Is Comcast going to become Skynet?” Alex: “Actually, Skynet is the name of our social network at work.”

Ellen DeGeneres, says Travis, “looks like Willy Wonka. It’s fine. She makes it work.” Ellen’s monologue is funny. Not excellent, but she’s getting us laughing and that works. “Who’s the wine captain now?” Davis points out how weird it is to see Fassbender sitting right behind Nyong’o. “You have combined made 1400 films in your lives and attended six years of college.” The lines are coming at a clipper’s pace, unlike Seth MacFarlane’s poorly conceived opener last year. And the extended picking on Jennifer Lawrence provokes a riot here and there and probably everywhere. The Jonah Hill jokes and the racism jokes work damn well.

Anne Hathaway is basically an electrical generator in that dress. And I am happy to see that the clips have been reinstated.  Though it is horrifying to see 12 Years clips on screen. Becky points out that you have to scream to be nominated in this category. Unless you’re Jared Leto, who just looks haunted. And the winner is Jared Leto, who receives a man-love stare from Fassbender. (“I want to reinforce that Jonah Hill is a two-time Oscar nominee. Seven years after Superbad. Let me point that out.” Travis) Leto gives a speech which defines both “overwhelmed” and “grateful” and he manages to dedicate the award to Ukrainians, Venezuelans, AIDS victims, and dreamers. Also, 75% of the stars of the harrowing and extraordinary Requiem for a Dream (what happened, Aronofsky?) have Oscars. Only Marlon Wayans is missing.

Jim Carrey, who looks darn good in a blue tuxedo, is in a full-on zany mode tonight. Haven’t seen this for a while, and it’s good. U2 laugh at the LSD joke and then go “no, no” as Travis points out.He introduces the animated heroes montage. “Great, just what I needed twenty minutes in.” Alex Happy to see the Pink Panther and Roger Rabbit and Flint Lockwood.

Alex: “I know that I haven’t seen a lot of movies from 1988 but my Best Picture would be Who Framed Roger Rabbit?”

Kerry Washington introduces Pharrell Williams…and the hat is back, along with sparkling red high tops and a track jacket. “Happy” starts out like a Up With People and then Pharrell dances with Lupita, Meryl, and Amy, and it’s adorable. Everybody jumps up on orders, Jamie Foxx is just hanging out, and U2 and Cate Blanchett are as delighted as the minions.

Travis: “That was pretty fun, if only because we got to see Meryl Streep shimmy. Also Amy Adams. Amy Adams Amy Adams Amy Adams.”

Naomi Watts and Samuel L. Jackson look charming giving Costume Design to The Great Gatsby.

Travis “Hey, American Hustle has not yet won an Oscar!”

Catherine Martin takes home another well-deserved Academy Award. She pays tribute to her sewers, and somewhere Megan Grandstaff is delighted. Naomi Watts has to pronounce “Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa” but Best Makeup goes to Dallas Buyers Club, as it should. The winner, Travis points out, kind of looks like Casey Wilson.

Alex: “You have Harrison Ford and you throw him out in the first half hour? FOR ANOTHER MONTAGE?”

Ford looks rather out of it and very monotonous. Travis: “What happened to Indiana Jones? MAKE HIM GO AWAY!” He also pronounces “debauchery” well. It’s darned nice to see Megan Ellison’s name on screen. I’m sad they didn’t show the DiCaprio-McConaughey thumping scene.

Channing Tatum gets a warm Dolby Theatre welcome as he welcomes winners of the Academy’s search for fresh new faces, which refreshingly includes only one white guy, and now Meryl joins us.

My friend Lisa Huberman just described the show so far perfectly. It’s relaxed. People aren’t seeming forced and they’re having fun.

Kim Novak joins Matthew McConaughey to present Best Animated Short. She’s a bit loopy, but she’s also really glad to be here and looks awesome for 81. The winner is Mr. Hublot, a goofily steampunk-looking film with charming strings and flute music. “Sorry. Lot of emotion. I have to take a paper.” I’m always so happy the Academy shows every main Oscar, especially the shorts, giving very dedicated people a moment in the international sun. They then jump to Animated Feature. Travis: “I hated that stupid snowman.” Novak relishes announcing Frozen. Travis: “I hate that other snowman.” The three directors, including the terrific Jennifer Lee, who all speak equally, which is very nice, and a happily applauding Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard are seen. And Alex points out Frozen is the first pure Walt Disney (not Pixar) film to win the award.

Sally Field introduces another montage: real-life heroes. Travis spews at The Blind Side and Alex asks what the point of this bullshit is. And you know what? Atticus Finch, Virgil Tibbs, and Ben-Hur are FICTIONAL CHARACTERS! At least it ends with Lawrence blowing out the match.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt and an unrecognizable Emma Watson present Best Visual Effects. Gravity wins. Pre-ordained, but it wins. Alex quotes a tweet: “And now, the ‘I hope the presenters are doing it backstage’ part of the program.” Since Gravity had the greatest special effects for outer space films since 2001, this was so well-deserved. Zac Efron, his hair covered in spikes, introduces Karen O and Ezra Caine for “The Moon Song.” It is a beautifully intimate performance, so intimate that O has removed her shoes. General reaction here: that was very sweet.

The Lipton Muppets ad and the Tina Fey ad for AmEx where she eats potpourri are both great. And our twitter pal Todd Van Der Weff (@tvoti) has decided that a remake of Midnight Cowboy with Kermit and Animal would be fine. Alex gives a double middle finger to Modern Family. Ellen’s got a guitar for some reason as she introduces Kate Hudson and Jason Sudeikis as a proud Goldie and Kurt watch. Hudson does not seem to age, Sudeikis clearly hates the banter, and they present Best Live Action Short. The winner is Helium, which looks amazing. The winners are so humbly grateful and their wives are in tears. Again, this is why we give these awards! Like Alex, I wish the honorary Oscars were still in the telecast as a celebration of film history, but this would be a shame to be lost. Best Documentary Feature goes to The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life, whose subject died last week at 110. Alex did not hear the winner announced right after predicting it. And my Mom (Remember her from the Grammys?) thinks Hudson took her dress from American Hustle. Ellen walks through the crowd saying hello, offers to order pizza for the crowd…but Alex thinks now we need the Goodfellas team to make homemade Italian pasta. Bradley Cooper presents Best Documentary Feature, and the winner is 20 Feet From Stardom in another instance of the Academy ignoring a powerful feature that fulfills the aim of documentaries (The Act of Killing, The Square) for a crowd pleaser. Davis is very upset, but Travis reminds us how in several ways the Oscars are bullshit. Though Darlene Love singing “His Eye is on the Sparrow” is not bullshit. Steve McQueen, Pahrrell, and a fist-pumping Bill Murray all applaud.

Kevin Spacey does Francis Underwood. (Becky just murdered this joke from across the country.) Spacey introduces the lifetime achievement winners: Angela Lansbury, still acting at 88, Steve Martin, Piero Tosi, and Angelina Jolie. Geoffrey Rush holding his champagne while toasting Lansbury for everything from Gaslight to Beauty and the Beast. Angelina Jolie breaking down in tears during her acceptance speech is so darn sweet.

The A.V. Club tweets that we’ll never know what song the directors of The Act of Killing would have sung. And my Mom sends me a message: “I think Francis did a FINE job!”

We are also discussing: did Brad Pitt belong in 12 Years, the man whose presence got the film made? Davis thinks not, but Alex says that by this point in the film you just accept it. His next film is a World War II tale with Shia LaBoeuf, which as Meryl says…”that sounds like a suicide mission.”

Ewan MacGregor and Viola Davis present Best Foreign Language Feature. The winner is The Great Beauty, and  YES, and Paolo Sorrentino is suavely charming and quick on the draw. His wife is glorious.

Tyler Perry comes out to introduce Nebraska and her and Gravity. A very odd set for him. Travis: “Gravity was an endurance trial. And why is Bill Murray sitting with the Somali pirates?”

Ellen changes her outfit to introduce Brad Pitt, who gets lots of applause. Pitt is there to introduce U2, who are performing “Ordinary Love.” The lyrics make no sense, the video apparently looked like an insurance commercial, and though the acoustic performance is nice, the song is really bad despite a fine melody. Bono sinks to his knees and stretches out to the audience, but they don’t react, and his heels impress us much more. The standing ovation is not deserved, I think, but Travis points out it’s still a good tune and it’s not U2’s fault they got nominated.

Chevrolet just made the most adorable commercial. And it was a montage with a point: “they tried to sell you a car.” Travis

Ellen joshes Steve McQueen, and then the photobombing joke is one of the best Oscar moments ever in my book. Seriously, find this clip on YouTube tomorrow.

Michael B. Jordan and Kristen Bell introduce Scientific and Technical. As Becky points out, “His character on The Wire was Wallace and her best friend was Wallace!” Travis just whispers “Veronica…” I still don’t understand why Christopher Nolan accepted the film lab award, but I roll with it.

Chris Hemsworth and Charlize Theron, who looks AMAZING and is 38 and holy crap she looks beautiful. We’re amazed, men and women alike, although Theron mispronounces “Smaug.” Gravity wins Best Sound. Again, well deserved, and they showed the clip where Stone takes off her space suit, my favorite moment of the film. Gravity wins Sound Editing as well, and I’m continuing with the happy Sandra Bullock clapping.

CHRISTOPH WALTZ! He strides out with a lot of joy. Just looking at him makes me happy. June Squibb gets the best clip by far, but the Oscar goes to Lupita Nyong’o, who hugs Steve, Liza, Brad, and Chiwetel, and stretches out her dress as she walks up to a standing ovation, kisses Waltz…J. Law is delighted…Nyong’o thanks Patsy and Solomon right away. Steve McQueen is ebullient. And Nyong’o can’t quite make it through. She’s wonderful, and it surprises me a bit that she calls Fassbender her rock. She also thanks Yale. When she finishes her speech that it makes all dreams valid, Travis says “Yes, you too can win an Oscar, or join 30 Seconds to Mars, or go to Yale!”

We don’t know how we feel about the eggs Benedict sandwich.

Lots of people are moving around because Ellen has ordered pizza, first delivered to Chiwetel Eijofor. Brad Pitt is handing out plates. Kevin Spacey passes a box. Harrison Ford gingerly takes a slice and a napkin. Harvey Weinstein is assigned tip duty. I can’t describe how hilarious this is.

Sharon Boone Isacs, Academy president, introduces the sketches of the Academy Museum, which looks insane on the outside but beautiful on the inside.

Amy Adams and Bill Murray, two of Alex’s favorite people, walk out hand in hand. “Baby, you look like $146 million domestic.” Their fiat is Cinematography. Murray is as hilarious as ever, but his shout-out to Harold Ramis earns the most applause. Emmanuel Lubezki wins, and as Alex aptly puts it, “one of the two greatest cinematographers in the world finally has an Oscar. The other just lost for the eleventh time.” Travis is happy they mentioned Sleepy Hollow. Anna Kendrick and Gabourey Sadibe walk out to “You’re Gonna Miss Me When I’m Gone (Cups)” and I love. The two make a very good, energetic team as they pronounce the all-important Best Editing.

Gravity wins its fifth. Alfonso Cuaron has an Oscar which makes Alex happy. “But Cary Grant still doesn’t and never will!” Travis reminds us. Mark Sanger, wearing a black ribbon for Sarah Jones, does the talking. (If you don’t know who Sarah Jones is, look her up.)

Whoopi Goldberg has “the Wicked Witch of the East’s stockings and shoes.” (Travis) Travis also calls she is here to introduce the tribute to The Wizard of Oz, complete with ruby slippers. And for some strange reason, Judy Garland’s kids are taking the bow. P!nk walks out to sing…Alex is on a rant. “If you’re going to do a fucking tribute like this, do a tribute to 1939, widely considered the greatest year in Hollywood history! I fucking hate Gone With the Wind, but Stagecoach? Mr. Smith Goes to Washington? And Oz?”

Travis: “Did you say this was a good show? Except Ellen. Ellen brought pizza.”

Alex: “This is not as bad as last year. But this is awful.”

Travis: “She looks like a cross between Macklemore and Sinead O’Connor, and that’s something no one should ever want. Also, that is the opposite of tasteful sideboob. That is untasteful sideboob.”

Serious moment from Davis: “I heard it took five years to make Gravity and Cuaron was upset about that, but now he might be thinking that it was worth the wait.”

The Godzilla Snickers commercial is darn good.

Ellen as Glinda (HA!) introduces Jennifer Garner and BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH. He still makes every word sounds beautiful. They introduce Best Production Design, and The Great Gatsby trumps Gravity for the first loss tonight…and American Hustle again.

The talented Chris Evans (“That’s two. Two Avengers! Ha ha ha!”) introduces hero’s journeys in an ungrammatic sentence. Alex is dying in the corner. And at least they showed Kirk Douglas as Spartacus, Frodo and Gandalf, Connery and Craig, and INIGO MONTOYA. Davis was rightly annoyed that Christopher Reeve was out and Henry Cavill in, but at least we got a good Pepsi commercial.

Glenn Close (next in Guardians of the Galaxy) comes out in front of a black and white Oscar. So of course, In Memoriam time. She’s very straightforward. And it’s set to the Somewhere in Time music. So yes, I’m tearing up. We lost so many before the year began…Ruth Prawer Jahblava, Saul Zaentsz, James Gandolfini, Peter O’Toole, Ray Harryhausen, Sid Caesar, EBERT, Shirley, RAMIS, Ray Dolby, Julie Harris, Schell, Matheson (explains the music choice), ends with PSH. Wow…and we go from the sublime John Barry to Bette Midler singing “Wind Beneath My Wings.” It’s a bit corny, but…she is divine. And she was in Ruthless People and Hocus Pocus. They do mention Sarah Jones. Good.

John Green (novel-writing genius) points out that there were more robots than women in the heroes montage.

Ellen, in her fourth (Jay-Z) outfit, acknowledges she broke twitter. Hooray! Goldie Hawn, whose grin is still wild. Philomena Lee is not very impressed. Hearing Goldie talk about 12 Years a Slave is odd but she goes on so long the power is fierce. The Philomena montage leaves out all the laughs. And I still cannot watch the 12 Years a Slave footage. At least it ends with “Roll, Jordan, Roll.”

John Travolta introduces Idina Menzel in a way that sounds like he will break out in tears and mispronounces the name. Menzel is standing in a live action version of the ice palace…She looks beautiful, and her voice is worn enough to sound real. They cut out a verse from “Let it Go” but they leave in the “Rhapsody in Blue” moment. Menzel’s high notes explode even more in person. It’s a great “less is more” number.

Jamie Foxx and Jessica Biel come out to present Best Original Score, and Foxx goes for the easiest laugh with a ridiculous joke. He starts doing an a capella Chariots of Fire that prompts Travis to ask if he’s on cocaine. Biel is looking right at the camera, and she announces Steven Price for his terrific Gravity score.

Travis: “Sandra Bullock IS gravity. Everything in this film revolves around her. And this should have been Hans Zimmer for 12 Years a Slave. But it’s not my call.”

Price is excellent talking about how the music conveys the story. Then comes Best Original Song, “Let it Go,” and Robert Lopez EGOTS. He and Kristin Anderson-Lopez  look darn adorable. Their acceptance speech is in rhyme and it is delightful. Alex loves that “EGOT” came from 30 Rock and Becky is happy that so many terms have now come from 30 Rock.

ROB FORD ON JIMMY KIMMEL WILL NOT END WELL IN ANY WAY.

Ellen is now using Pharrell’s hat to pass it around for the pizza money. Robert De Niro and Penelope Cruz walk out arm in arm in front of a wall of typewriters. Travis wants Penelope Cruz to read his life story. The winner is John Ridley, who hugs David O. Russell for some reason. But YES. Ridley is emphatic and empathetic and Leigh thinks it’s the best speech of the night. Original Screenplay comes next. The winner is Spike Jonze, his first Oscar in an incredible career…and he’s sitting with a guy in giant green-rimmed sunglasses and a fedora. Spike is damned excited, pointing out his imaginary family and friends onstage. De Niro looks a bit dismissive. His speech is as excellent as Ridley’s, and over “Love is a Many-Splendored Thing,” Ellen references his association with Jackass which is nice.

Angelina Jolie and Sidney Poitier come out together, and I couldn’t tell who’s the best arm candy. Poitier is clearly ancient but he commands respect…even Spacey’s eyes glisten at the standing O. (Bill Murray’s fist-pumping is still enjoyable.) Angelina is charming, and Poitier is a towering force of dignity. Alfonso Cuaron wins Best Director and so, so well-deserved. He also does an impish eye-wag, and he clutches Poitier’s hand tightly. “This was a transformative experience, which is good because it took so long that I’m glad it wasn’t a waste of time.” Cuaron quotes Travis by calling Bullock “gravity.” “The wiseguys of Warner Brothers” is a great line. He thanks Del Toro and his son and says something in Spanish to his wife. The man is as charming as he is magnificent. Somehow, playing “Let’s Go Fly a Kite” after a big win for Gravity is oddly right.

Three awards to go…”My Heart Will Go On”…and Ellen is chatting with Matthew McConaughey about losing weight to “Sweatin’ to the Oldies.” Daniel Day-Lewis walks out to The Last of the Mohicans. I’m going to pretend Sandra Bullock won Best Actress for Gravity which also makes Alex happy. Cate Blanchett wins the real Oscar, and Robert Rostan is very, very happy, maybe as happy as Cate. I am so happy Blanchett applauds Adams and Bullock and happier that she adds a giant feminist tinge to to the end, reminding us that female-dominated films make money. She thanks her husband Andrew Upton, calling him a legend, and she thanks every person on earth, slipping Woody Allen in the middle and saving the final acclaim for the national Australian theatre.

Jennifer Lawrence (“It’s hard for her not to look good,” Alex points out) comes out her stern, powerful, but wisecracking self. When DiCaprio finally wins an Oscar, the Dolby will look like the scene in Wolf where Belfort refuses to resign. Eijofor is magnificent but McConaughey’s name draws instant applause. The Best Actor statuette goes to Matthew McConaughey. He gives his wife a long kiss, Jared Leto and Leonardo DiCaprio hugs, and the promise of 1997 is fulfilled. Davis thinks he might be on something with his cadence. “God has shown me that it is a scientific face that gratitude is reciprocated.” “The late Charlie Laughton.” “My Dad is up there dancing with a cold Miller Life.” But I have to say his heartfelt tribute to his family and his speech about heroes is excellent. “Alright, alright, alright.”

Will Smith, who WON A RAZZIE LAST NIGHT. LOTS OF THEM.

Will Smith presents Best Picture…

And one of the Greatest American Films ever made wins Best Picture.

Travis very wisely made me take a break to watch this. I almost cried.

Brad Pitt smooched Angelina Jolie right away…and yes, Brad Pitt has an Academy Award. He has deserved one for so long. Though Steve McQueen with his punches, backflips, and gigantic hugs and kisses for his wife Bianca Stigter is even better. I am so, so happy that a movie so extraordinary has won the grand prize. It was already immortal…can you be doubly immortal?

And Alex gave us no rage display. This was the most satisfying slate of winners in years.

And with that, good night.

Well, not yet. A few final thoughts before bed coming from the cab ride home.

It was a good show. Not a great one…when they cut out the montages and return to giving the honorary awards during the ceremony and showing more of the nominees, it will be a great show. Ellen was a terrific host. Maybe my favorite of the past fifteen years along with Hugh Jackman and Jon Stewart. She was damn funny and imaginative…when you break twitter that is a great sign…and she tried her darndest to keep the show moving. I loved that Cate Blanchett pulled a terrific and true move that Hollywood should listen to, reminding us all that films with women in leading roles MAKE MONEY and are REALLY WELL DONE. If there’s a takeaway for tonight, that is the one thing which must be taken away.

And in the end…well…let me use the word “greatest” a bit. Three of our greatest living filmmakers won their first Oscars: Cuaron, Lubezki, and Jonze. One of the greatest Disney songs ever gave us an EGOT. Frozen and The Great Beauty triumphed. One of the greatest American movies ever made won Best Picture after three years of films that fought hard to be among that group lost to inferior pictures. I got to hear the Somewhere in Time music. Benedict Cumberbatch looked devilishly handsome and photobombed people. Anna Kendrick displayed tasteful sideboob. Brad Pitt won an Academy Award for the best thing he will probably ever do in a career full of greatness…and Angelina is still one up on him and I cannot wait to see what they both do next. Even more, I cannot wait to see what Steve McQueen and Alfonso Cuaron will push the boundaries of film with next. And this above all: Alex Bean did not break into paroxysms of rage. That is the sign that the Academy got it right.

And I think this weekend, besides finally catching up with Blue Jasmine if I have the time, I’m going to throw in one of my personal favorite movies, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and think, hey, you both won Oscars in the same night. That’ll do, pig, that’ll do.

A great year. A great, great year.